The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize