i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
