none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
