We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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