dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
