So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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