Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
