Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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