can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
