I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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