jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
