You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
