glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
