Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
