OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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