It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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