i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
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