he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
