quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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