there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Couch. On fire.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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