Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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