I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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