I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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