Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
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Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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