Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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