some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My bed smells like the plague
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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