is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
