She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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