Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
