My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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