Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
