remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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