he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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