i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
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