So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The air was thick with penises
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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