Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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