stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
