The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
