yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
