I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
