I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
