have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
