don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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