The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think my moral compass just broke
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
