Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize