We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
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Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
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Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.