I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.