I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
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She told me I should be a condom model.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?