First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
