Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
