All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
