make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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