I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
