Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Fuck appropriateness.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
