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• (619): View more from California

  You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Does the room smell any better?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (925): View more from California

  well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again

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• (714): View more from California

  I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up

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