how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
i think my cat just said my name.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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