Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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