I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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