just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
