i barfeds in our rink
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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