Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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